Am i senseless?

Due to the kind feedback of readers that stated that my blog is super long, i will keep my blog short and sweet. Yup. Do stay tune.


What a weird me, planning to change course again. Davin are you out of you mind? FYI, i am not. I am kinda serious about it. 2 choices for me,
1)to repeat year one again,
2)to change course to FSV.

I need to change. My attitude! It really cannot make it! really! I am kinda very sad about it. I am feeling sad, dishearten, hopeless? Sad boy ah? hmm. yeah!

I just cried over a short conversation with my parent. My mom especially. She rarely, and i really mean rarely support me in whatever i do. Rarely! I just voice out to my parent about my plans on transferring course. My mom was like using a machine gun shooting at me with all those demoralize words. She is really good in it!

I break down at the instant when i cant take it. I cried. I am confused. I do not know what to do. I really feel down.

One thing that i am puzzled. I alway feel very sad when my parents scold me or does not support me. BUT, i do not feel the sadness i do when i disappoint God, When i do not do God will. When i did not go to school. When i am still the irritating me. When i am still the one that hate studies. When He is there for me but i reject Him. What a son i am. What a son i am.

I want to be sad. I want to feel what God feel. I do not want Him to look down at me and cry. He is my creator and i can do much things for my master, My Shepherd. I always do the wrong things. I want to be part of His plan. His plan to reach out for the world. His plan to be a studious student. His plan to change other people. I just want to be in His plan.

God, i am sorry about always not being sad for what i do wrong Lord. I really got to change. I cannot remain what i am now God. This poor attitude of mine, i command it to out of me in the name of JESUS! God, use me in anyway and every way you can lord! I do not want to stay what i am. I want to grow. I want to be a seed that landed on a rich soil. God, i pray that you can let me start a new Lord. i do not want to stay on like that Lord. I do not want see such a result Lord. God i pray for a second chance. Be with me Lord! Not just a mere word, but let me do it Lord. Give me the strength to do it. I am sorry God. I am really sorry God for what ever i am done for the past years and till now. I am really sorry Lord. Forgive me. forgive me.
Lord i thank you that you are always there in my life that i can always look to you when i want to praise you or i want to shout for help. God i really thank you for being in my life. For letting me have such thoughts. Its amazing what happen yesterday night. I really pray for you plans to be shown to me. Let me know what to do to reach out to those people who are unsaved lord. Let me be the chosen one Lord! God i thanks you that i learn a lesson today Lord. Not to listen to anyone negative comment, But by the word from you! People may think that its impossible. But i will think that its possible with you Lord! God i want to praise you! in every thing i do!

I thank you Lord! in the name of Jesus Christ i pray Amen!

Thank you lord!

Once i plan out the idea on what God told me to do for the outreach. i will blog it down. Yeah.

You may join into this plan! yeah.

God bless all!

Davin.