facing my biggest fear

a self anylesis of myself,

i found out that i may suffer minor depression.

I have no idea about it,

but i find myself too sensitive to stuff.

i find myself no belonging,

hate it when people say i cant,

I will find back my fighting spirit!

I will win those who look down on me.

I will start gaming and studying,

although it is contriditing,

I will start playing my old time favourite game,

counterstrike 1.6

coming to church,

seems hard to me.

the fear of dying,

just make me come church.

may be not just the fear of dying,

but the Awesomness in God,
Einstien say that if u cant see it, cant prove it, it is wrong.

i got to say,

the mere fact that creation took place,

is enough for me to believe in God.

i find myself to have really true buddy in church.

i really cant find.

may be its due to my DAMN behaviour? Attitude?

that i am slightly condamn?

My close friend are still my secondary school school friend.

one may say,

outside friend only used you,

and not help you when you got trouble.

I will say majourity is true,

but there is the minorities.

not sure who say this,
"everything have a purpose"

not sure if its Einstien.

but i am finding my purpose in life.

i want to just sign on army,
but deep inside me,

i know this is not my purpose for life.

hmmm,

many disappointment in me,

many heart broken in me,

:) just this smile :)

Strange is back!