Fuck up person living in this Fuck up place on this FUCK up world....
It total fuck up. How can it be like that? I have been always treating my brother very good and my parent just dont understand me. Keep scolding me. Keep saying i am KAN NA SAI. GOOD FOR NOTHING. DAmn it...hear already...i damn sad...No one just understand me. The pain that i face. painful. it hurt. deep in my heart is bleeding. and i dont know what to do. cry also like no point. felt so sad about it. wanting to just use pain as a way out, a way out of emotional suffering by making me feel the pain in my skin. I really dont wanna to do something stupid. something like killing my self...i dont wanna be like my friend...the friend that pass away...
I wanna live my life to God. and everytime i do things that will upsad my perfect and heavenly father. Unlike my earthly parent, they just dont understand me. dont give a damn about me. whether i die or not...i also think that they wont GIVE a damn...
For every hobby i pick up...my parent will surely give me a wet blanket. Be it fishing, soccer, running, violin, piano, camera, guitar, magic. they are there to put a wet blanket...i really like music alot. but i dont wanna spent my parent money. That y i dont wanna learn guitar/piano lesson. i just learn my self. i am just very upsad and my parent just dont get what i am doing. Just scold.
Wanted to start changing and start studying, but my parent just keep saying something like you cannot make it. yup. may be i really cannot make it. Good for nothing. just a person that waste Oxygen in the air. cant really do much. no talent at all...unless you count talking cock is a talent...
for me...friend is very important...it is where i really felt it is good....really good...even if my friend make used of me...they will always be my friend...when they need help...i will be always there for them...yup...i will not care about my studies and even my parent...
but recently...i wan to change...change to care more about my parent...to love them...even thought most of the time they just keep scolding me...i still respect them...AND NOW....i even thought of just heck care them...this is not me...this is reallly not me...i wanna care for every one...even the old...yup...
as i wrote this blog post...many have ask if i am ok...i have yet to tell them what happen...or i should say...i will not tell them what have happen...
my msn nick...
Fuck up person living in this Fuck up place at this Fuck up world.Everything is FUCK UP. PHONE DESTORYED.FUCK UP!!!! __
Hatred, Anger, Loneliness,Self-inflicting, jealous, FUCK UP, Pain, Sorrow, hurted, life is so meaningless, Death....
i am really glad that many have came and ask how am i doing...but is it that i used FUCk in my sentences that they responded, or is it true friend????For me...all the people are my friend, if you are reading my blog, YOU...yeah...YOU are my friend...if one treat me as a friend, i will be glad. even if you dont, i dont mind. yup.
I know i am a christian and i should not use word like FUCK...yup....but this time...i really cant stand it...this time...i really burst...God...i will still want to praise you no mater what...yup...i thank You for pulling me back at this moment...even i am feeling angry and sad just now...i thank You that You really put your love in me...God may all the Glory and praise be in you...
Praise you.
unfailing love
verse1
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